Redundancy/ an excessive amount of element
That may be as dangerous as not saying sufficient. You don’t must refill your entire character restrict of 220, until you may have one thing significant to say. And it’s finest to keep away from lengthy sentences when a phrase or some well-chosen adjectives will do the job.
Take this Headline for example:
Chief Individuals Officer | Constructing and Main a world class folks staff of a world class progress pushed group.
This headline repeats the phrases folks and world class; plus, the second line may be very generic. And the worst half is that it doesn’t point out the profile proprietor’s important achievements and abilities.
How about being particular, succinct and audience-centric
Chief Individuals Officer @ XYZ | Constructing & main a world class staff at a high growth-driven group | SaaS & AI
Right here’s one other instance
Outcomes-oriented enterprise chief and creator working in worker expertise. Fixing shopper enterprise, HR, payroll, and advantages challenges.
Positive, this Headline may be very related, besides that probably the most worthwhile a part of it will get truncated, so in searches we solely see the primary line.
As a substitute, rewriting with focus phrases first and a grammar tweak would serve this headline higher.
Outcomes-oriented enterprise chief, fixing shopper challenges in Enterprise HR, payroll, and advantages. Obsessed with worker expertise.